“i dont expect u to understand”

I was recently told this lately by someone I knew in high school. Let’s for a moment, ignore the fact they couldn’t be bothered to capitalize “i”, spell out “u”, or use an apostrophe. The complete and utter arrogance in this statement infuriated me to levels that I should have let it. It’s not worth getting my blood pressure up over. Still, I feel the need to vent on why I got so angry.

First, some setup: I was trying to strike up a cordial conversation with someone whom I knew and liked in high school (which was a long time ago). I asked her why, so late on a Friday night, she wasn’t out partying. She is still in college after all (this is important and will come up later in my diatribe).

She then explained to me that it allowed her get everything done that she wanted/needed to. She felt that drinking was a waste of time. I brought up the idea that drinking was a good way to unwind and meet people (which it still is, at least when you’re young and in college, a good way to do those things). She then explained that she preferred alternative ways to do that. I acknowledged that without comment.

She decided to follow that with:

i dont expect u to understand She doesn’t expect me to understand? I asked her why. She explained that people at this age like to party, implying of course that I was all about partying (as all my friends know *end sarcasm*) and that I was so immature that I couldn’t understand the idea that there are other ways to unwind and meet people.

Let’s review, shall we? I never partied that much in college. I still don’t. I like to have the occasional drink (as the overwhelming majority of adults do). In college, I was on the Dean’s List every semester. I had a perfect attendance record (just try to find another college student that has done this). I was taking some graduate level courses by the time I finished. I graduated with honors. I was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa. I think I can comprehend a simple idea like the one she proposed. I’ve already started my career. I’ve started saving into my 401k. I’m thinking about buying a house next year. She hasn’t even graduated from college yet.

When I tried to explain that I didn’t party all the time, choosing instead to do it in moderation, she didn’t respond. It’s not that she didn’t give a substantive response. She simply said nothing. Then after an extended silence, she simply told me good night and signed off. I’m glad she’s not one of my core friends so I can feel fine saying this:

Screw you too.