I couldn’t hold this one back. I picked up some Trident White gum at Walmart. “White” promises whiter teeth in as little as four weeks. Sounds easy enough. I chew gum and I’d like whiter teeth.
I decided to dig a little further and figure out exactly what was needed to get these results. It’s not written on the package, so I went to the product’s web site. There I found what I was looking for.
Consumers may see results when they chew as little as 2 pieces for 20 minutes, 4 times per day for 4 weeks.
That’s a lot of numbers. I like numbers, so let’s figure out exactly what they mean. First, how many pieces of this gum will it take to see results?
2 pieces/chewing * 4 chewings/day * 7 days/week * 4 weeks = 224 pieces
That’s a lot of gum. How much of my time will it take to chew enough?
4 chewings/day * 7 days/week * 4 weeks * 20 minutes/chewing = 2,240 minutes or 37 hours and 20 minutes
Good thing I can walk and chew gum at the same time. That’s almost a work week. How many packs of gum is that?
224 pieces / 12 pieces/pack = 18.67 packs
I think I’ll give up on the dream of whiter teeth now.
My cat loses fights against inanimate objects. How embarressing is that? There are lots more pictures like this one, so check it out.
Tonight on Dennis Miller, Gersh Kuntzman of Newsweek appeared on the Varsity discussion panel. I didn’t get a chance to get the entire quote but he said about Arnold Schwarzenegger:
He speaks Austrian better than….
Apparently, Austria has decided to rid itself of the German language and adopted its own new language. I’ll have to subscribe to Newsweek because I’m missing some major stories.
Dana has brought something to my attention. I love churros as much as anyone else, but I think Google might be a little confused.
One of these things is not like the other. Look carefully. I think y’all can figure it out.
It’s amazing what some people will do for their iCrack. Ever since Apple announced the availability of the iTunes Music Store (iTMS) in Canada, those crazy canucks have been going crazy waiting for it.
In fact, they’ve been protesting as Bush came to town. While the mainstream media has been widely reporting that this is due to policy concerning Iraq, this is entirely wrong. Such immature angst could not be explained by anything but concerns about the iTMS being available late. It even looked like it would be late, but everyone’s favorite computer company made sure that the delay was minimal, delivering on its promise last night, a mere day late.
So relax Canada. You can pack up those protest signs and spend your money on the latest yodeling songs (or whatever you nutty northerners listen to).
